A review of the new CBS comedy pilot, based on Twitter’s @ShitMyDadSays

In August 2009, Justin Halpern started a Twitter account to recite the observations of his father, a very opinionated man who was not known to be ‘politically correct’, but was always ‘right’. By November, over 750,000 people followed Justin’s father’s musings, he received a book deal with HarperCollins, and CBS decided to make Shit My Dad Says into a sitcom pilot.

I could not have been less enthusiastic about this idea. The countless SMDS fans seemed to all be in agreement. On network TV, the show can’t even use the word Shit! How on earth are they going to recreate this curmudgeonly old man without whitewashing him for Middle America? But then, the tides changed when producers Max Mutchnick and David Kohan – the creators of the wildly successful Will & Grace – announced who would play the title character: Mr. William Shatner. All bets were off, as they always are when the man at the helm is none other than Captain Kirk / TJ Hooker / Denny Crane.

I went to a full rehearsal of the pilot Sunday evening on the WB lot. The pilot, directed by the great James Burrows, did not disappoint. Bleep My Dad Says (working title) is a very funny show that does not rely on the crutch of the Twitter phenomenon. Plus, it’s a perfect fit with CBS’ extremely popular Monday night lineup, which will most likely have one giant hole come the fall.

John Hughes, 1950 - 2009

Like many in my generation, I was affected, reassured, and inspired by John Hughes’ films – all while laughing my ass off. Easily one of the most prolific filmmakers in the last 30 years, John Hughes brought us such classics as Vacation, The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Weird Science, Planes, Trains and Automobiles, Uncle Buck, Home Alone and more.

The writer/director/producer frequently collaborated with the same troupe of actors (many of whom became known as”The Brat Pack” due to their relationship with him) and is wildly seen as the inventor of the modern teen comedy, and frequently dealt with fitting in, whether they’re seen as brains, athletes, basket cases, princesses or criminals.

Hughes’ imprint on movies lives on today in part thanks to the dozens of actors he made famous, and in part thanks to those who’ve taken up the torch to deliver comedies that aren’t afraid to discuss serious themes. He will be missed.

Video first seen at Ain’t it Cool

..no, not Michael Jackson’s funeral (which you can watch at Hulu, CNN, and pretty much every other website and channel around).

I’m talking about a much more important landmark in television: the name change of science fiction/fantasy cable network from SCI-FI to SyFy. Yes, folks the day is finally here. First reported back in March, many people have dubbed the change a “hoax” at best, a “huge freakin’ mistake that will ruin genre television for the rest of eternity” at worst (we geeks have a tendency to blow things out of proportion). So, why the change? And why all the fuss? Let’s a take a look.

We’re only a few days into the release of Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, but already a full-on Michael Bay hate-fest has taken the internet by storm.  The infamously egomaniacal director has become the victim of what feels like a coordinated campaign of criticism, with reviewers and fanboys alike declaring his latest orgy of explosions a massive disappointment (at best) and an affront to the societal advancement of an entire race of people (at worst).  Not an easy time to be the man with the big steel cajones.

After seeing Tranformers 2 at 12:01 on opening night, I exited the theater with one main reaction:  That was an awesome movie-going experience, but that was not a good movie. When I’m in a geek-filled theater watching giant robots blow each other up in incredible detail while being assaulted by images of a scantily clad Megan Fox running from explosions in slow motion; it’s tough NOT to have a good time.  Yes, there’s plenty of cringing and eye-rolling at the repetitious dialogue, juvenile jokes, or lack of anything resembling a story, but it’s a special effects movie, and the special effects do not disappoint.

By the numbers, though, this film does way too much wrong to be given a pass.  Here’s how it could have been better:

1) Let Someone Who Knows NOTHING About Transformers Read the Script. No one could really be unhappy about the choice of Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman to pen the script, because the duo have a solid track record and a lot of geek cred.  However, the story here was such a convoluted mess of Transformers history, planets, artifacts, weapons, symbols and prophecies that it became utterly indigestible to even the most obsessive fan.  It’s impossible to trace the clues and events that lead Shia and friends on their journey from Princeton to Egypt. It’s impossible to understand why the deaths of certain characters lead to the resurrections of other characters.  And it’s impossible to comprehend why John Turturro is seen from behind wearing a jockstrap.  I’m lead to believe that Orci and Kurtzman (I’m leaving out Ehren Kruger because Harry of AICN skewered him well enough) just got so wrapped up with this in their own heads that they forgot to consider whether or not it would make sense to anyone else.  Surely handing the script over to a completely fresh pair of eyes would have yielded a more concise, pointed plot with fewer MacGuffins and clearer motivations for all of the characters.

2) Mudflap and Skids Should Have Been Kids. I won’t delve into all of the reasons that these characters have been rightfully labeled as racial stereotypes because it’s been thoroughly dissected elsewhere.  That said, I agree that they were inexcusable and unfunny throughout the film.  BTC-Thadd suggested that they would have worked better as “child” robots, which makes sense given their size, relative immaturity, and propensity for feuding.  The bottom line is that, like most of the robots in the film, they needed to be well-drawn characters instead of two-dimensional joke spewers.

3) Simplify the Action Scenes. The climax of this film, while impressive as hell from an effects stand-point, was a cluster-f#$k of humans, robots, military commanders, planes, tanks, ships and star-destroying weapons that ended up being incomprehensible.  Consider Return of the Jedi, which eloquently juggled three separate locations and sets of characters that all intersected perfectly in the end; you always knew who was where, and what needed to happen next for the plot to advance.  Transformers 2 has nowhere near that level of finesse during its climactic battle, instead choosing to throw everything at the audience as fast as possible in the hopes that no one will try to connect the dots.  This sucked the suspense right out of a scene that should have had me on the edge of my seat.

Obviously, there were a lot of other issues with Revenge of the Fallen, but I think the “improvements” above may have significantly altered the reception of this highly-anticipated sequel.  The unfortunate truth is that I can’t REALLY tell most people, especially the ones who liked the original, not to go see this.  It’s a big, loud, ride of a popcorn movie that will rake in buckets of cash regardless of the negative buzz.  One can only hope that, in the ears of Michael Bay, our voices will ring louder than the “ka-chings” at the box office.

After a bare-knuckle fight to get the job, then 17 years on the air (almost all at #1) – the most famous chin in America is leaving one of the longest television institutions: The Tonight Show. During that time, Jay managed to log 33,000 political jokes and hundreds of guests. While many people in my generation have mixed feelings about Leno’s humor, I’ve routinely enjoyed his overstuffed monologue and moreover, his workaholic attitude and good humor about the seedier parts of the business.

He will be missed, but not for long: as you probably know, NBC has gambled that Jay’s older audience will watch him nightly at his new 10:00 slot – and with any luck, the college crowd tokes up early and decides to stay glued to the Peacock from 10 all the way to 2:30am. To help bridge the gap, new host Conan O’Brien will be the final guest on Jay’s show (with music by James Taylor).

We’ll have to wait ’til the fall to see how the 10pm gig works out. Either way, his run on The Tonight Show certainly is a great accomplishment. Here’s to you, Jay.

Now, a look back at some moments that didn’t go as planned:

UPDATE: The Hollywood Reporter has a really good, albeit a bit technical, take about how Jay could succeed from a business-sense at 10pm. As I’ve said countless times, even though it’s a huge gamble, this could be the best move by network TV since the dawn of cable.

As a kid who was a huge Bat fan, I was very psyched for the big-screen release of Batman & Robin. It came out just before my 12th birthday, and I was finally old enough to see a Batman movie in its first theatrical run (I saw Forever at the $1 second-run theater that served beer so parents could come to terms with the fact they were watching a kid movie on a Saturday afternoon).

In what I later learned was to have been a sign from the Gods, our air conditioning broke the day before it opened – meaning that on the release date, I had to stay home while my mom waited for the repairman. Mad as hell, I successfully lobbied to attend the theater on Day 2 to check out my favorite superhero.

Utterly disappointed by the terrible attempt at tongue-in-cheek humor (mastered by the Adam West TV Series, but never again), I actually remember quietly tearing up towards the final scenes. Not because I was moved by the stupid fake disease that plagued Alfred, but because I understood, even at the age of 11 3/4, that this horrible excuse for a movie would forever taint the Bat Legacy. Once you do nipple suits, it’s really hard to bounce back.

Joel Schumacher took me into the back room of my brain and had his way with me. My innocence was forever lost, and the scars have yet to heal.

By: Jon Rineman

Super Bowl Weekend is upon us, so in the spirit of that, 10 old sports jokes from my blog…

The Arena Football League announced it is canceling the 2009 season. Today, league officials met to decide how to break the news to their season ticket holder.

ABC announced that it is reviving the 1970s sports series “Superstars,” which pairs teams of celebrities and professional athletes against each other. The series debut will feature the Pussy Cat Dolls, as 14½ point favorites to beat the Detroit Lions.

The Boston Red Sox traded slugger Manny Ramirez to the Dodgers. LA fans were so excited, some showed up as early as the third inning.

President Bush took time to meet with the United States fencing team. However, things grew awkward when he asked how things were coming at the Mexican border.

Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps has announced plans to write a book. In related news, Chinese gymnast He Kexin announced plans to color one.

Pope Benedict said mass at Yankee Stadium. There was one awkward moment when on his way out of the dugout, the Pope was approached by Roger Clemens’ trainer, asking if he “needed anything.”

There are now allegations that Roger Clemens used Viagra as a performance enhancing drug for baseball. Apparently what gave him away was the fact that every time he went up to hit, he never brought a bat.

As part of its new collective bargaining agreement, the NBA will implement a tougher drug policy that includes testing for marijuana. When they heard the news, every player in the league retired.

Two cricket players, who had not picked up a baseball until April, were recently signed by the Pittsburgh Pirates after winning a baseball reality show in India. The guys had hoped planned to join the Mets’ bullpen, but were told they were overqualified.

CNN did a story documenting a 107-year-old African American’s emotions and reaction to Barack Obama’s inauguration. Boy, what a month for Rickey Henderson.

More at: http://rinemania.com/

By Jon Rineman

In an effort to recruit more people, the US Army has opened a 12 million dollar facility at a Pennsylvania mall that uses video games to simulate combat scenarios. The Army expects the plan to pay off, especially if the nation is ever at war with Koopa Troopas.

Researchers say that an ape named Bonnnie at the Smithsonian National Zoo in Washington taught herself to whistle. Still, the achievement pales in comparison to that of her brother Gus, who taught himself how to beatbox.

A man in Pennsylvania faced up to 37 years in prison for tearing open a neighbor’s door with a chain saw after someone parked in front of his house. People inside weren’t sure if the man was just angry, or the most aggressive Jehovah’s Witness ever.

In Hong Kong, a giant panda named Peace bit a park keeper’s left leg while he was laying bamboo leaves in the animal’s pen. Park officials called this the most ironic incident since a panda named Violence treated everyone respectfully.

Pope Benedict said that saving humanity from homosexual or transsexual behavior was just as important as saving the rainforest from destruction. Then, he admitted that if he weren’t the Pope, he’d totally do Sting.

More things here: http://rinemania.com/